High hopes

Wow. My first post. Of course, this was supposed to happen about a month and a half ago, on my birthday, August 24th. That way I could have a nice, crisp, concise year of meditating on what consists of balance in life and food. Unfortunately the circumstances that make me want to seek more balance make it even harder to actually seem to find the time to do things like start blogs. A 3 year old, a 4 month old, and an attempt to keep working as a freelance photographer at least part of the time seem to somehow take up all of my time. I feel like I am at constant war with time, that I have to ride time like a wave, paying attention and thinking ahead so that
the minutes, hours, days don't come crashing down on me and leave me far behind.

Another casualty of my war with time is my energy and fitness level. I can't really remember the last time I wasn't at least a little tired, and each time I actually manage to do any exercise or go for a walk it seems to get cancelled out by the fact that it's at least a week before I manage to do it again. I keep thinking of how I might build time into my day on a regular basis to complete my much needed physical exercise and I haven't figured it out yet. Couple that with my body's ravenousness due to nursing, an already highly tuned appreciation of good eats, and a tendency to self-medicate with chocolate and you've got a weighty problem. Actually, a weight problem.

I feel like the only way I am going to get a handle on these two twin issues (food/movement) is to engage them head-on. I love food and cooking, and when done in a conscious way they actually help to restore my sanity, health and balance. I have to have lots of good and healthy things on hand to eat so that I don't eat lots of bad things. I love the way I feel when I manage to get regular exercise, the exhilaration and sense of intention in my life, and I absolutely have to find a way to build them into my life again. Since I don't know exactly how I am going to do this yet, a period of trial, error, and examination is called for. Hence this blog. Hopefully by having a commitment to record keeping and reflection in this way I will make some progress.


Sure, I hope (and I need) to lose some weight on this journey. I hope to get healthy again. Just as much I hope to regain a sense that I am living my life again instead of feeling that my life is living me, a series of obligations, however delightfully punctuated by bright moments of joy in my family. I hope for boundless stores of energy, rushes of excited creativity. Most of all I hope for an expanded ability to appreciate the great fortune and abundance I have in my life.